November is National Adoption Month and, as we well know, there are many ways to build a family. For some, the old-fashioned way is not possible or optimal. They may decide to pursue infertility treatment such as intra-uterine insemination (IUI) or in-vitro fertilitzation (IVF). Some may consider surrogacy or donor eggs/sperm. Others may desire to become a child's forever family via foster care, domestic adoption or international adoption.
While there is a wait involved no matter which road you choose, the adoption process can take up to three years or more. Many factors are out of your control, as you wait for your referral. When adopting internationally, political unrest or changes in adoption laws can further delay the process. During this agonizing wait, prospective parents often experience mixed emotions: excitement, fear, anxiety, disbelief, sadness. They may encounter setbacks and wonder if their dream will ever come true.
Chinese adoption programs tend to be the most reliable and stable, and therefore the number one choice for international adoptive parents in the U.S. since 2000. According to Adoption.com, in 2008, U.S. citizens adopted approximately 3,909 children from China. China's popularity is also due to the fact that the average age of its adoptees is considerably younger than other countries. AdoptionServices.org states that the average age of Chinese children at the time of their adoption is 8-15 months old. This allows the family to bond from an early age, and makes future attachment disorders unlikely. Chinese adoptees also tend to be in excellent health, which is appealing to many adoptive parents. The vast majority of Chinese children available for adoption are girls, although children of both sexes are looking for their forever homes.
I have joined together with Little Journeys Baby World for an extra-special giveaway in honor of National Adoption Month. Little Journeys Baby World is a shop that provides quality, unique handmade items for babies and children, including clothes, accessories, baby gear and bath products. All items from Little Journeys Baby World have a cultural flair but are made right here in the U.S.
WIN IT: If you or someone you know is in the process of adopting from China, you can win this adorable 2-pc. "Kiss Me, I'm From China" newborn outfit (ARV $17.50)! When the wait becomes long and arduous, they can look at and touch this, knowing they will soon have an adorable baby in their arms! It would make an adorable keepsake for any little one in honor of their heritage.
MAIN COURSE (MANDATORY ENTRY): Leave a comment and tell me your adoption story or why you want to win. Remember to please leave your email address in your comment if it isn't visible on your profile or if you are not a blogger!
SUGAR ON TOP (BONUS ENTRIES): To maximize your chances of winning, you may do any or all of the following. Be sure to complete the above mandatory entry or your bonus entries will not count!
1.) Follow my blog or subscribe via reader or email. Comment telling me which method you chose. If you already follow or subscribe, that counts! (1 entry)
2.) Follow me and @littlejourneys on Twitter and tweet about this contest. Just leave me a comment with your tweet link. (1 entry)
3.) Visit Little Journeys Baby World and leave a comment with another item you like. (1 entry)
4.) Become a fan of LBJW on Facebook. (1 entry)
Giveaway will end on November 30, 2009 at 11:59pm EST. Open to U.S. only. Winners will be chosen via Random.org and will have 48 hours to respond to congratulatory email or prize will be forfeited and another winner will be chosen.
Disclaimer: I did not receive a product to review, nor was I compensated in any way for this post.
29 comments:
A friend of mine chose to adopt a child and it was the best decision she ever made. msmith572@yahoo.com
Adoption is not the best choice for the child though...
Whoah. This is messed up.
I mean, the originating phrase is: "Kiss Me I'm Irish".
So this should read: "Kiss Me I'm Chinese".
So the insinuation is that the child is only FROM China, not Chinese.
Yet the whole thing comes from a trope steeped in ethnicity and national pride.
Displaced, sanitized of history, devoid of cultural reference, the child is dressed up to mock its own identity.
Adoptees the world over say: Go to hell.
I mean, is the shirt imported from China as well? This is sick and twisted.
I'm very sorry that some of you find this outfit or giveaway offensive. I never considered it would have such a negative reaction but I would like to address some of the above comments. I am not an adoptee, although having suffered from infertility, I know many peers who have chosen adoption for their families - both domestic and international. It may not be for every family, but I do think there are instances in which it is extremely positive and beautiful. I apologize if you do not share the same feelings about the issue. This post was purely informational in honor of NAM and if you reread, you will see that I was stating fact, not opinion - nor did I set out to make this a debate on right vs. wrong. I believe to each his own.
In regards to the giveaway outfit, I am American and I would proudly wear a shirt that says "from America". I do not see this as demeaning whatsoever. But differences are what makes the world go around. If you do not like the content, you do not need to enter the contest or purchase from or promote the store at which it is made.
As I have treated your comments on my space with the utmost respect, I will not tolerate being told to "go to hell". Let's be adults here. I have no problems with discussing differences of opinion in an open forum, as I am not embarrassed by this turn of events, but any further childishness will be promptly deleted.
Thank you.
Guess she told us, huh?
Truthfully Kristen, I half expected you to bust out with a "neener neener neener".
This quote..."When the wait becomes long and arduous, they can look at and touch this, knowing they will soon have an adorable baby in their arms!" is offensive...and if that's what you call fact rather than opinion, then you seriously need to read adoptees' blogs and educate yourself.
Cricket ~ I still fail to see how that statement is offensive? When people set out to adopt a baby, isn't it their hope that they will one day hold that child? I do, in fact, read many adoption blogs. Perhaps what you mean is I need to read anti-adoption blogs. If that is what you are referring to, then yes, I suppose I could expose myself more to those who have not had the positive experiences I am more familiar with.
However, I still believe my statement is hardly condescending. This is a post celebrating NAM and in particular, international adoption from China. Being that you are opposed to adoption in general, I do not expect for you to agree with what I've written - or to even try and understand. But by telling me that this post is the equivalent of sticking my tongue out at you? A little far fetched, IMO. You want to twist my words to meet your own agenda so, so be it.
You are entitled to your opinion, as I am to mine. So, I guess we will have to agree to disagree for now.
I didn't tell you to read adoption blogs...I told you to read adoptees' blogs. There IS a difference.
The whole concept of adoption is offensive...as is the thought of a potential adoptive parent caressing a child's outfit...that's just creepy. Color it beautiful if you want, but it's still creepy.
Shouldn't the shirt read "Kiss Me..I'm Chinese" instead of "Kiss Me..I'm From China"? It's totally discounting the heritage of the child.
I hope you'll visit my blog again to see my response to your comment.
Again, I'm sorry that you find the concept of adoption offensive. But I have to ask you, if you find it so traumatizing, why are you knowingly reading and commenting on a post that celebrates it? I do appreciate other perspectives but you would have to know that I am going to disagree with you?
As for the wording on the shirt, let's talk linguistics. According to Webster's Dictionary the suffix -ese is:
1. used to form adjectives or nouns describing things and characteristics of a city, region, or country, such as the people and language spoken by these people
2. used to form nouns meaning the jargon used by a particular profession or in a particular context (i.e. legalese)
Therefore, according to definition 1, the denotation of "-ese" and "from ---" is synonymous. If you perceive a particular connotation between "Chinese" and "From China", that is your personal belief based on your background, experience, whatever. I am American and I would proudly wear a shirt saying "From America". I do not personally find it demeaning at all. I am, after all, from America. It has nothing to do with my heritage. Heritage is something inherited from my ancestors, who were actually Polish and not "American" at all. You cannot strip someone of their "heritage". It is ingrained. Unless you are referring to traditions, which will fade if not practiced or passed down from generation to generation. I fail to see how a shirt would do such damage. Sorry. I don't think you are going to convince me otherwise, no matter how you try to spin this.
How long have you known that you were Polish? Forever, right?
I didn't know that I had Irish in me until last year when my natural mother found me...34 years after my adoption. Why? Because the agency only had to write down two nationalities on my paperwork and they had basically picked and chose which ones they deemed appropriate.
I DID lose my heritage...just as the children from China, Guatemala, Africa, wherever, have.
My birth certificate is amended..and while I'm "lucky" to live in a state where I can get my original birth certificate, many of my fellow adoptees do not and cannot.
I understand that I won't change your opinion..it's clear from your writing that you believe what you believe and that's that, so help you God.
But my reason for writing and reading others' blogs is to try and educate others on the downfalls to adoption, of which there are MANY...no matter how you try to spin it yourself.
I've known about my Polish heritage since I was about 5 or 6 years old, when my grandmother explained it to me. However, she and my biological father died before I could learn the language or adopt any of the practices of the country. But I am not 100% Polish. I am a "mutt". I have Polish, American, Indian, Irish and Norwegian heritage as well. I doubt all of these nationalities are listed on my birth certificate and I don't feel cheated or robbed of my heritage because I wasn't aware of this until later in life, when I was already in my twenties. I use it as an opportunity to connect with other cultures that I was previously unfamiliar with. But that is just my natural response.
Again, I'm truly sorry about your adoption experience but to make a blanket statement that all international adoptees are stripped of their heritage is bogus. I know many adoptive parents who take great lengths to visit the country, learn the language and practice the traditions of that country before they even begin the adoption process. Will it ever replace what the birth family could instill? No, of course not. But it's a step in the right direction. Would you prefer that these children stay in orphanages forever rather than being given the CHANCE to have a loving family? I know that your situation was not "loving" by any means and there are no guarantees. But I think MOST adoptees would learn more about "where they come from" in an adoptive family than they would in an orphanage. Not to mention that open adoption is very popular these days so birth parents can still be involved in their child's life if they so choose.
You're trying to paint all adoption scenarios in a negative light, when the fact is that situations like yours make up a teeny tiny fraction of all adoption cases. For the handful of people who have gone through a similar situation to yours, there are thousands more that had loving adoptive parents who really tried their best to give them a good home without trying to change their heritage. Parents are not going to be perfect - adoptive or not. And I'm not denying there is probably a seedy underbelly to adoption, as sadly there is to most things in the world if we search hard enough. But if adoption didn't exist, there would be black market babies and many more instances of abortion. I simply do not believe that because of what has happened to you, that adoption is a horrible institution that should be abolished.
I feel I have given this philosophical debate a great deal of attention and obviously, we are both passionate about our respective stances on the issue. But to maintain the integrity and positive spirit of my blog, I respectfully ask that any further communication on this matter be directed back to your blog or to my personal email account: stickybean12 at gmail dot com.
Actually, I'm all set with your stance...either here or on my blog. Your blog may have a "positive spirit", but it's still shameful.
What's shameful is that you seem to have so much misdirected anger inside of you. I pray that reconnecting with your "natural" family will be the first step in healing the hurt and pain deep within your heart. Regardless of what you think you know about me based on our difference of opinion and values, I do recognize that you are in pain and I sincerely wish you the best of luck on your journey to self-discovery.
I'm sorry if any of my comments have come off harsh...my main issue is that the pain and hurt was caused by adoption. That's where my anger comes from, as it does for countless other adoptees like myself. I know we'll never agree, and that's okay. But if telling my story helps get the word out that there needs to be major reform, then I'm happy.
Kristen, I'm not entering the giveaway, I don't know anyone who is currently adopting from China. I'm commenting only to congratulate you on your patience and attention to the discussion.
My personal opinion is that pain felt by a parent or their child is not caused by adoption, but by other circumstances surrounding the adoptee. Thankfully, not all adoptions result in unhappiness and pain.
Wow, all this drama for a giveaway. My beautiful daughter is from China and I am proud to tell the world where she was born. So is she! She is a delight and a God-Given gift to our family! Thank you SO much for having this giveaway! I would love to have this sweet outfit.
BTW- I am just here to enter the GA. I'm not interested in getting involved in all the drama.
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I'd love to win cause the clothes are so cute.
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Respectfully "Janet and Maya", if you truly think that the pain is not caused by adoption, then you need to educate yourself further.
The loss and drama is set into motion the instant that the child is taken from his/her natural family.
Regards,
Cricket
I'm not entering, I just wanted to say how cute this was :D
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i want to win just so i can see my baby daughter in the outfit
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